The View from my Couch, Vol. 1

[cross-posted from Big Action!] So. I’m three weeks into recovery from a nasty injury, which means I’m three weeks deep into days spent on the couch in front of the television. When I first considered the idea of two, three, four, more, weeks of slow recovery, I had grand plans for media consumption. Catch up on missed seasons, classic movies, new releases, everything. Maybe I’d start playing Warcraft, even, get it out of my system. Maybe I’d write a book.

Anyway, grand plans. I’ve only now just gone online, I’ve only sent one shipment back to Netflix, and the TiVo is still full of Sopranos and The Office episodes that need some attention. So what have I been watching? I laid some ground rules at the outset--no news, no game shows, nothing too hilarious, nothing too tense--and here’s as complete a round-up as I can recall:

Happy Gilmore. Not as funny as I remember, which is all the better, since laughing hurts. Oddly sweet, too, and you have to love anything with Carl Weathers.

The Mummy and The Mummy Returns. The first one, so much more fun than the second one.

Dogs & Cats. Really can’t believe I watched this.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Pleasantly surprised. Smart script, a few laughs, even some Vince Vaughn and Adam Brody. But man, terrible acting by those Brad and Angelina people. Just no chemistry, or effort, beyond posing nice with guns.

Star Trek: The Next Generation. TiVoing this once or twice a day, from G4 or Spike, and it’s making up the bulk of my TV watching. It’s like comfort food, so familiar, so easy, so satisfying when the gang finally figures out whatever it is that’s causing that anomaly or whatever, and sets things right. Also, I find myself wanting to see more of Data and his cat, Spot.

American Wedding. Too much Stifler. So much Stifler. Who needs that much Stifler?

Must Love Dogs. Almost too terrible to do me any good, but then John Cusack’s like an old buddy I don’t hang out with enough, and he got me through it. But of all the hyper-meaningful allegorical careers a character can have, a old-timey wooden boat craftsman? Really?

50 First Dates. Exactly the right amount of cute, stupid and uplifting I needed. And, of course, not really that funny, so it’s perfect.

The Conversation. Francis Ford Coppola deal, Gene Hackman as a professional snoop who thinks his privacy’s been hacked. I recommend watching with the sound way up or wearing headphones. It’s all about the audible details. Also: Harrison Ford is such a delicious, nasty bad guy, I would have loved to have seen him  in a black hat more often.

Before Sunset. I love how simple it is, I love how engaged I found myself. Two near strangers talk and walk and talk, and deconstruct their lives and much of my own. No action, just talking. No music, until the last scene. As much as I want to resist spending time with Ethan Hawke, as sleepy as Richard Linklater movies usually make me, this kind of made my day.

So, so much about Star Wars. Couldn’t make it to the Celebration thing downtown, but at least I watched:

• Two hours of live coverage on G4.
• The Star Wars edition of X-Play, on G4, also live, for whatever reason.
• Star Wars: The Legacy Revealed on the History channel, which drills home all the mythical connections with a shocking line-up of talking heads: Kevin Smith, sure. But then here’s Dan Rather! And Camille Paglia! And Tom Brokaw! And Linda Ellerbee and Stephen Colbert!
• Star Wars Tech, also on the History channel. Eh. Didn’t learn much about making landspeeders I didn’t already know.

The Wire, season 1: Good stuff, most of it watched during my first week home, and I blame this as much as the Vicodin for the paranoid dreams that had me so on-edge.

Sweet Home Alabama. Exactly the right flavor of fluff I needed, plus it’s even a little twisted. One of the key romantic scenes takes place in what’s labeled as The Coon Dog Cemetary.

The Whitest Kids U’ Know. Sketch comedy on FUSE, not as funny as I’d been told, but I’m willing to give them another shot.

Probably some other stuff. But I can’t remember. It’s important that I remember, I know, for history’s sake, so I’ll try harder. But now, Picard needs me on the bridge.